Archive for September, 2011

Seattle Celebrity News!

September 30, 2011

Jorj & Kristina Thelan

 The word is out!  our own Jorj  has been cast in another play.  This time it’s JACK AND THE SEAHORSE MOON, written by John Ruoff.  The word is – (and as it appears) – Jorj just can’t turn down acting opposite a beautiful woman.  I, like, TOTALLY understand….   For more complete information, go to:

Photo by Carl Nelson

Seattle Celebrity News!

September 29, 2011

ROOM 13 Moves Towards Production

“Hi Everyone. We are two days away from shooting ROOM 13. We have a great crew and everyone is doing their job to make sure things flow smoothly. Then there is me. I offered to direct via Skype but that idea went down liuke a lead balloon so I will have to be there. I can tell you I have not slept well for a while.. More as we shoot”.  – Paul Eenhorn

Photo:  by Carl Nelson

Work, work, work… with Rita Andreeva

September 26, 2011

Learn Russian Like a Native

Imagine yourself just born and learn the language as a baby would.


Day one

I opened my eyes and saw a bunch of large beings surrounding me. The one who held me announced, “Eto devochka!”
I opened my mouth to say, “Take me to your leader,” but all that came out of it was, “Waaa.”
The being holding me pointed to another – a very sick looking being, and said, “Eto tvoya mama.”
Great! Of all the healthy creatures in the room they give me to a loser! I screamed, “Waaa,” in indignation.
The nurse was now handing me over to the dying being called ‘mama’, who screwed up her face in distaste and grumbled, “Syestra, uberitye eyo…”
Syestra retreated, “Poydyom detka, poydyom milaya. Nado tyebya pomitj i vzvesitj…”
I thought, hopefully mama will be dead by the time we come back and the nice being will get to keep me.
Now I had three names: devochka, detka and milaya. Hmmm. I quickly found out that pomitj meant dipping me into a basin of water and scrubbing all over. Vsvesitj apparently meant to lay me on a cold metal surface and to announce, “Tri s polovinoi kilogramma.” As syestra was wrapping me in a blanket she said, “Ti u nas boljshaya! Ish kak mamu utomila!” Another name for me: boljshaya. Is it my fault mama was so sick! I felt guilty.
Syestra was carrying me somewhere else again. She left me in a room full of other little creatures like myself. Did mama die? Did no one want me? Is everyone in this room extra? I cried from helplessness and fear. I was also very tired and had a bad headache, so I must have dozed off. When I woke up, syestra was poking my face against a round pillow growing out of my mama’s chest. She kept shoving some bump into my mouth about the size of my thumb. As I bit into the thing in anger, a warm sweet liquid squirted unto my tongue. Mama complained in a whiny voice, “Oi! Ona kusayetsya!”
I felt divided: a part of me wanted more of the liquid, but another part felt guilty, because, obviously, mama didn’t feel too keen on sharing it. I spat the tasty bump and waited. Syestra stuffed it back into my mouth, saying to me, “Pei molochko, detka! Pei.” Mama didn’t object. I figured that syestra was really in charge, and mama was just food. I started sucking in earnest, ignoring mama’s oi’s. After a while I felt an extremely disagreeable sensation in my tummy. Great! Are they trying to poison me! Syestra lifted me upright and rubbed my back, until a bubble of air erupted loudly out of my mouth, spraying her shoulder. My tummy immediately felt fine.
Another being walked into the room. Syestra showed me to it and explained, “U vas dochka.” The new being shyly touched my finger with the tip of his finger, “Nevestochka…” Its voice was lower in tone than everyone else’s. I wondered it was a much older being or of a different type.
The nurse said, “Hotitye poderzhatj?” and handed me to the being. It said, “Spasibo syestra.”
“Eto tvoi papa,” syestra explained to me, as it clumsily lifted me in his arms.
I noted the difference: my mama was ‘tvoya mama’, but this new being was ‘tvoi papa’. So they were different somehow. I wondered what his part was in my life. Was he replacement food for when I’m done eating mama?
Papa handed me back to syestra and sat at the edge of mama’s bed. He bent over and touched mama’s face with his mouth. I bolted in fear – he is so big, if he started eating her, there would be nothing left for me! But he stopped and just sat there, stroking her hair, then got up.
“Chto tyebye prinesti?” he asked her.
“Klubniki,” she replied.
“Kakaya zhe klubnika osenjyu!” he laughed. “Nu poka, ya poshel. Ti otdihai.”
He left. Mama’s eyes looked wet.
Eto – this is
Devochka – a girl
Detka – a small child
Ya – I
Ti – you (informal), vi – you (formal)
Mama – a mother
Papa – a father
Milaya – dear (feminine), miliy – dear (masculine)
Tvoya – yours (feminine), tvoi – yours (masculine)
Syestra – a nurse, a sister
Boljshaya – big (fem.)
Utomitj – to make someone tired, utomila – made tired
Ubyeritye – take away
eyo – her
Chto – what
Moloko, molochko – milk
Tyebye – to you, for you
Prinyesti – to bring
Podyerzhatj – to hold
Klubnika – strawberries ( klubniki – of straberries )
Kakaya – what
Osyenj – fall ( osyenju – in the fall )
Poydyom – let’s go
Nevesta, nevestochka – a bride
Hotitye – would you like? (formal address), hochesh – do you want? (informal)
Nu poka, poka – see you later
Poshyol – went
Otdihai – rest

To continue your training, please visit:

Photo by Carl Nelson

From the Editor’s Perch…

September 25, 2011

The Camera Follows a Thai Boy on a River Ferry

Cinema: Where Quiet Shows Its Muscle

Some years ago I attended a retirement party for a friend of ours where I was seated around one of a number of large round tables.  Partway through the proceedings, I happened to think of something and made a joke of it to the woman sitting next to me.  It got me a small laugh.  What was remarkable was that in the next moment, the fellow directly across from me (who was a loud and hale sales type) repeated the same witticism to loud and generous laughter all around the table.  Then he gave me a look.  I don’t know whether it was because he was curious as to why I didn’t laugh at ‘his’ joke; or because he had just taught me a lesson. 

For most of the years I wrote for the theater as a playwright one question most bothered me.  It seemed that the same people who claimed the stage in life, where also the characters to claim the stage in the theater.  I struggled to find a way to write about people and situations which weren’t always ‘selling’ themselves.  What was the point, I thought, in allowing the same characters who dominate us in society to dominate us under the footlights – all over again?

I studied sales, and I sold.  I studied plays, and I wrote plays.  I studied actors, and I tried a little acting…  I even toyed with the notion of starting my own troupe called, The Quiet Theater.  Whose purpose would be to promote the quiet moment, onstage.   I imagined holding festivals and giving our a prize for creating the longest, sustained quiet onstage in a successful performance.  I kept at this for quite some time – not because I had any success – but because I couldn’t think of anywhere else to turn.  Until finally I’d decided that the role of art is to celebrate life, and like it or not, this was the life that the theater celebrated.

Then I decided to try my hand at directing short films and almost immediately realized the opportunity to depict quiet.  Because, in film, the audience’s attention is placed wherever the director chooses to place it.  And, if the director should choose to ignore the loud fellow stage front… or across the table…  Well, that loud fellow can bellow all he wants, but the audience is going to watch whatever the camera has been directed to follow.  And they will hear whatever the audio speakers most want them to hear.  Whether, or not, the film will proceed to hold their attention is another problem.  But it occurred to me that cinema is where the quiet finally shows its muscle.  And perhaps in this frenetic, sales-driven age, this accounts a bit for cinemas increasing popularity at a time when the theater is fast losing its audience.  We all crave quiet – and it’s more than heavenly to be entertained by it.

Photo by Carl Nelson

Seattle Celebrity News!

September 17, 2011

Room 13 Update

“Last night we had a table read of ROOM 13 with the actors and covered some ground on some more character development and shots. It was good to hear the dialogue, what worked and what need to be reworked. We don’t have a scipt lock yet but we are getting close to a final. Next is setting up our production protocols with the help of Will Chase Allen Esparza Ross Hotchkiss and his crew.” – Paul Eenhorn

Work, work, work… with Rita Andreeva

September 12, 2011

Crime Scene Evidentiaries

While examining the scene of the purported crime, police noted the following objects – which Rita tells me she is willing to sell to collectors.  All are free of blood.

These painted rocks are $3-5 each, depending upon size.

Work, work, work… with Rita Andreeva

September 11, 2011

Police are Called!

furthest adventure in the Near-Room

Photo Taken Out of Context / Professional Actor

“The night before last J.B. called 911 at about 3:30 – 4 in the morning, he took his laptop and headed to the bathroom to take a shower. I was woken up by loud talking and the light from the bathroom. (Just to remind you – I live in the near-room now and rent the real room.) So I poked my head from behind the curtain to see what all the commotion was about and saw J.B. standing in the bathroom with the door wide open talking shit about me on the phone to someone. I yelled at him, “What do you think you’re doing! Cut the crap!” He looked at me with hatred and continued into the phone, “…Of course, she’ll deny all of this, she is a very good actress…” I realized that I couldn’t do a damn thing about him, he was just going to have to rant it out, whatever it was. I went back to bed, put on my earphones and the cloth across my eyes and tried to ignore J.B. A few minutes there was a loud knocking on the door. J.B. opened the door and let in 2 policemen and one policewoman in. I came out of the near-room in my skimpy pajamas. The policewoman took me out in the hallway in my skimpy pajamas (tiny pink shorts and a tank top, no bra) and started explaining that J.R. called 911 because there was blood in the bathtub. I stared at her in disbelief, “And you came out because of that! Gees! I have a period, so there might have been a drop of blood in the bathtub I missed.” She nodded, “Yes, I understand, but he was saying you were threatening him…” I listened to J.R. raising his voice inside the apartment, “You should arrest her! She is evil! She left the blood there on purpose!” I giggled. The policeman came out, “This isn’t funny!” Two black elderly people wobbled across the hallway to their apartment, looking at us over the shoulder. I waved to them and smiled. The policewoman with bushy black mustache went inside the apartment and exclaimed, “Wow! Look at what’s in the chair!” Everyone turned to her. “What is it now?” I asked wearily. “It’s a huge cat! Just look at that huge cat!” I sighed in relief, “Yeah, that’s my kitty.” One of the policemen went to look and said, “That’s the biggest cat I’ve ever seen!” The other policeman, the one who didn’t think I should have giggled, with a shaved head and a neck and a mean look in his eyes, never bothered to look at the huge cat. He had no time for that – all business and no play. He proceeded to tell me, “Your roommate maybe crazy, but he has rights. You should clean up after yourself and not make him upset, because the next time we come out, one of you is going to jail…” I looked at him defiantly, “Are you threatening me! You have no right, I didn’t do anything, you got me out of bed in the middle of the night!” He softened his manner slightly, “I did tell him that he should find another place to live, but he doesn’t legally have to, so I’m only saying, be careful with him, don’t say anything that could be threatening…”
After the police left I was furious, so I immediately went to my computer and disconnected the wireless router and locked it in a safe. If that jerk is going to call 911 because of a dirty bathroom drain in the middle of the night every night, I’d be damned if he is using my internet anymore.
That must have done it, because he gathered his stuff and left after he woke up sometimes in late afternoon. I was out, I went for a long walk, so I was deliriously happy to come home and to find the big bedroom empty and the keys on the table. Yahoo! Freedom, probably short-lived, but sweet!
Sorry, Jewish people, you missed your chance to pay me to spy on J.B.”  – Rita

Photo by Carl Nelson

Seattle Celebrity News!

September 11, 2011

Room 13 – a Film

acquires funding, production starts

Paul Eenhoorn Writer/Director

You heard the pitch right here!  Now follow the production as we pass the first read-through and have acquired a firm location. 

“We are having a location meeting this Sunday at 4 pm. Hopefully we can all get a handle on what’s required on each Room.

Wednesday we are having a read through rehearsal with the actors.

Looks like we have a Pizza supplier so that’s taken care of. The location is truly superior to our first choice. That’s serendipity I guess.”  – communique

Photo by Carl Nelson

Work, work, work… with Rita Andreeva

September 11, 2011

Further Adventures in the Near-Room

Some Tenants Just Have to Go

Editor’s Note: The further adventures of our aging artist Rita, as she struggles to make ends meet in various ways, while continuing to work. If you would like to read some of Rita’s plays, just click on the Rita’s Plays link to the right. They are every bit as eventful as her life.

“My current roommate J.B. is a paranoid schizophrenic. He believes that there is a Jewish conspiracy to take over the world.
The other day I came home and he said that someone opened a little cover on the back of his computer to try to get to the hard drive. For some reason the cover wasn’t put back neatly. J.B. immediately assumed that I did that. He said, “It would make perfect sense, that you would accept a $500 payment from the Jews to let them inside the apartment to mess with my computer while I was in the shower!” You see, he takes his laptop with him when he goes out, and when he sleeps, he locks the door from the inside, so the only time someone could have messed with his computer is when he was in the shower, which happens at about 3 am. Now he takes his laptop into the bathroom when he goes to take a shower.
Hey, if anyone knows any Jews who’d pay $500 to spy on my roommate, please let me know! I wasn’t aware there was that much money in it. He says he has a lot of information about how Jews caused 911. I asked him, “Didn’t you get all that ‘information’ off internet?” He said, “Yes, but…” And I said, “So you know nothing, in other words, other than what everyone has access to…” But he kept insisting that Jews would still want to get to his computer, if anything, because they hate him and want him to eat shit and die.


Anyway, I gave J.B. a 2-week notice, at which he went into a tirade that he is going to sue me for a million, because I was spying on him, and that 2-week notice isn’t legal, that it has to be a month’s notice, and that he wants to see my bank statements to see if there is a payment from the Jews… The thing is, the notice is up to the day that he paid. Then I added that in case he needs an extension he can pay me $20 per day in cash after that date. To which he threatened to sue again, because how dare I ask for more money. So I said, “It’s more money to compensate me for all this drama dealing with you,” and, “Seriously, you think I’m a spy and a mean person, so why on earth would you want to live here?”
He said, “I don’t, but I have a problem finding a place…”
Obviously, anywhere he goes people want to kick him out after a short time.


Hello, any Jews out there who want to spy on my roommate for $500? Please let me know.”  – Rita

Photo by Carl Nelson


From the Editor’s Perch

September 1, 2011



In case you’ve been wondering, ‘what’s the hold-up on the postings’?  Your editor, besides becoming a proud father, is also directing/shooting/editing a short movie written by Scot Bastian called Frying Saucers.  …It’s the deep South on a hot day.  BOB comes by to have a talk with his friend SLIM regarding some thoughts he’s been having, concerning, “Patterns.  Patterns which explain a few things.” …Mystery seems to have enveloped the small Southern town of Colby Junction.  We had a good response to both stage productions.  So we thought we’d try our chances with this short movie.

Scot Bastain plays BOB and Jorj Savage plays SLIM. 

P. S.  Rita is still plugging along.

Slim struggles to get his mind around what Bob is saying.

"I've come across a few patterns. Patterns which explain a few things."

Mysteries Abound in this Short Movie

Photos by Carl Nelson


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