Travelling Expenses

Paul Eenhoorn as ‘Pops’ Marigold

 

PART TWO

“This is part two. The tough part…

To my family and friends.

In 2008 two contractors I sold remodels for went bankrupt owing me around $30,000 one of the companies was my employer. I spent the next year and more unemployed as a lot of us did. During that period I spent time at the Muckleshoot Casino killing time. I actually won a fair amount and banked the money.

Over the last couple of years I have had a lot of dead end job starts and now finally work for a good company in the roofing industry. For various reasons I had been personally depressed for so long that the casino was the only other place apart from film sets and writing, where I could lose my feelings of pain. The reasons for that depression is a a whole other story and I suppose it’s a part of life.

The problem is that I became a compulsive gambler. All prudence left me and all sense of awareness for my actions as well as losing touch with reality. I have wasted so much and I was so ashamed that I spent my time shooting in Reno this month figuring out a way to end it all. The Reno shoot put me up in Harrah’s Hotel Casino so you can imagine how well that went.

In the end I called the gamblers help line and they referred me to a therapist who could help me. I will figure out why I have this self defeating behavior that is killing me. This addiction has destroyed my marriage as Stephanie can’t trust me after this, It has hurt my family, It has harmed my friends and screwed my reputation. It is so hard to explain this addiction that is so effectively destructive.

I am not looking for pity, I am looking for a place to start rebuilding, a reason to keep going. I am so sorry!” – Paul

Photo by Carl Nelson

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