Federal Bureau of Common Sense

Editor’s Note:  It was suggested on Facebook that there ought to be created a Federal Department of Common Sense.   This made me wonder what a Federal Bureau of Common Sense would look like and sound?  That is, what would pass the bar to be judged ‘common sense’ at the Federal level, that is to a fully tenured bureaucrat? Here’s a stab at the start:

It’s just common sense…


Where we know better, but are willing to help.

Where we know better, but are willing to help.


Part One:  Getting an audience.

“Wait in line.  Wait in line.  Wait in line!

“I can’t help you until you’ve waited in line.”

“You can make a request by filling out one of the forms over there.”

“Go back in line, please.”

“This window is not open.  I can’t help you.”

“There’s the line.”

“Your problem is that you have filled our the wrong form.”

“If you leave the line, you lose your place.”

“Don’t raise your voice.  It won’t help.”

“I’m telling you what the law means.”

“Without proper identification, I can’t help you.”

“We don’t take personal checks.”

“We don’t take credit cards.”

“You must have exact change.”

“Take a number and then wait in line.”

Photo from Google Images

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2 Responses to “Federal Bureau of Common Sense”

  1. Donn Trenton Says:

    Sounds like an indispensable government service and must be established posthaste. Where do I apply for a position (and incipient pension)?

    • schn00dles Says:

      Well, this is a start-up. We’re hoping for a federal grant to proceed further, then to generate enough grass roots support to create a commission to look in to the establishment thereof: probably to commission a study to see if Common Sense is really wanted, needed or indicated for running government. Once the department is created there will be “Common Sense” exams administered to a pool of applicants, and interviews and selections will be made from those applicants who score the highest depending upon sex, race and sexual preference.

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