Posts Tagged ‘death’

Seattle Celebrity News!

November 3, 2013
Gong to the Theater can be a lot of fun, until tragedy strikes.

Gong to the Theater can be a lot of fun, until tragedy strikes.

Staged Parable Ends in Tragedy!

In a horrible turn of events, actress Wanda Moats, performing as the DUCK, in a opening night scene from  “The Winter Winds of WARP”, was run over and killed onstage only feet from the audience she was performing for this past Friday evening at the Seattle Center’s Center House TPS Theatre #4.  In retrospect, the DUCK’s concern was apparent several seconds before the final impact, as evidenced by the following photos.  But, the audience, caught spellbound, offered no assistance.

The Other Side50 The Other Side51web The Other Side52web The Other Side54web The Other Side55web The Other Side60web

The DUCK’s body was tossed a horrid distance by the impact, apparently hitting the back wall, and then rebounding to end up not a foot from where the accident occurred.  First responders reported her dying quacks, but efforts at resuscitation were futile.  A CHICKEN is currently wanted for questioning, as observers report the DUCK arguing with such a bird only moments before impact.  Fowl motives have not been eliminated.   A photo of the CHICKEN has been released, which the Seattle Celebrity News! has posted below.  The driver and/or occupants of the truck have as yet not come forward.

The DUCK was seen in a heated disagreement with this CHICKEN not moments before the accident.

The DUCK was seen in a heated disagreement with this CHICKEN not moments before the accident.

WARP representatives report that the show has not closed, but continues, feeling strongly that “the DUCK wouldn’t have wanted it this way – but we have a show to get on.”  The theater being no place for airy sentiment.

Festival goers report that “you can still see the duck splatter and blood on the back wall”.

CHICKEN of interest.

CHICKEN of interest.

Departed DUCK

Departed DUCK

Photos by Carl Nelson

From the Editor’s Perch

June 7, 2013
Are you going to "stop my suffering?"

Are you going to “stop my suffering?”

Mercy Killing


My friend and I, whose homes are both plagued with pests, got to discussing what to do with a mouse, still alive, which was caught in a trap.  I’d said that I took them outside and smacked them real hard in the head with a brick or a rock.  I told him I imagined it would be like an Act of God, like one of us being hit by a meteor  “…large as a house!” (with suitable arm flourish),  I added.  My friend shuddered a bit.


So I asked him what he had done with the mice he’d caught but not yet killed.  He looked a bit troubled by the recollection.  Apparently it was because it hadn’t gone particularly well.


He said that first he’d tried gassing the thing in the barbeque, which hadn’t worked.  So then he decided to shoot it with a rifle.  First he hung it on a board in his shed placing some thick lumber ends behind it.  “But it’s hard to hit,” he added, since he’d had to stand some distance away.   I asked him where he’d shot the mouse.  “In the mid-section,” he noted.  “It’s hard to hit!”  He said again.


I imagined my friend trying to explain to a neighbor passing by what he was doing, and rocked with laughter.


“No one passes by out there,” he replied.



All of this got me to thinking that this would make an interesting blog post.  But what would still others do, I thought?  So I queried people on my Facebook page, “If you found a mouse still wriggling in your trap, what have you done with it?”


Two guys said that they’d feed it to their cat (and save money).  A woman replied that she’d flee screaming.  One guy left it outside in the trap and forgot it.  When he next happened on the trap, the mouse was gone.  Another woman found a raccoon a neighbor had caught in a ‘humane’ trap – and released it.  “The neighbor was not happy,” she said.


I decided to Google to determine the broader public opinion on this matter.    And here is some of what I found:


Dog hit by car with crushed hindquarters:


“Poor thing. I would call Animal control & tell them its an emergency. Maybe they will send someone right out. Hard to tell with our government agencies.”


“.if you have a gun, kill it, one shot behind the ear, if not, run it over again, don’t let it suffer.”


“Maybe take it to a vet? I wouldn’t though, it sounds like the dog is in a lot of pain. Maybe borrow a gun from a neighbor or get him to do it.”



Some people leapt right into a moralizing posture:

How do you put a mouse out of its misery quickly?

My mouse is sick and needs help moving on to the next life.


“I think the one who needs help here may be you. It is not your decision to make as to whether or not it is time for your pet to die.You are not a vet. If your pet is sick, take it to the vet. If you can’t afford to take it to the vet, take it to a shelter and don’t get pets again until you can afford their care. It is animal cruelty to try and kill your pet. You could be doing it when there is a chance it could get better. You could do it improperly and cause more suffering for the animal. Leave the mouse alone and if it’s time for it to die, it won’t need any help from you.”


Some people have gotten themselves into a hellofa mess:

Can you get a mouse off of a glue trap without injuring or killing it?

“You can dissolve the glue. Wearing gloves, add vegetable oil to dissolve the glue and, with a pencil, push the mouse off.”


“put it in a shallow pool of water, not too deep so it doesn’t drown, and see if the glue dissolves or loosens. maybe that could make it easier to get it off, and wear gloves.“


“Yes, if you have access to a beard trimmer you can shave it out of the glue trap. Just make sure your rabies shot is up to date.”



Some people expect a lot:

What is the most humane way to put a small wild animal out of its misery?

I mean for example injured mice and things. Sometimes my cats catch mice inside my house and I hate to watch them torture them to death.


Best Answer Chosen by Voters:

“The problem is with your cat.
Either you train your cat to kill the mice quickly , or just get rid of it.
Why not try to teach your cat to be nicer to your cute little mice?
Maybe if you got a vegetarian cat, it wouldn’t try to eat the mice.”


Some ring with certainty and authority:

Q: My mouse no longer has quality of life. How should my mouse be euthanized?
A:The only humane way to euthanize a mouse is by inhaled gas anesthesia overdose. This can only be done at a vet’s. There is no humane way to euthanize a mouse at home. Asphyxiation by carbon dioxide, by drowning, or in a plastic bag; freezing, cervical dislocation, or feeding to another animal are all incredibly cruel and inhumane. The only humane way to euthanize a mouse is by inhaled gas anesthesia overdose.”



Others sympathize and offer some simple tactics:

“I think wringing its neck would be best: However, its hard to explain how to quickly and efficiently do this……google how to wring a chickens neck and you will see what i mean.
Or just give them a whack on the back of the head, its how many mousetraps work:

Kudos for having the balls to do it: its a kindness.”


“when i had pet mice and they were sick and about to die we would put them in the freezer. it is really sad, but we asked the people at the pet store and that’s what they said to do.”


“simplest and most ethical way is a bullet to the head, if you havent got a gun then a hard quick strike with a blunt object also to the head.”


And finally…


“Do it quickly with a shoe.”

Photo pulled from Google Images

Murders in Progress by Eldon Cene

April 17, 2013



Merlin and Leland and his Euthanized Dog

(Episode 40)

 Merlin was already in town, so he dropped by Leland’s office and they walked out to the Sheriff’s SUV.

“Mind if I drive?”  Merlin asked, hopping into the driver’s seat.

Leland paused, finally taking the passenger’s seat.  “I’m just the Sheriff.  And this is the Sheriff of Kimmel County’s car.  Why would I mind?”  He frowned, pounding on the dash with both fists.

Merlin didn’t reply.  Instead, he started the vehicle and started heading north.

“North?”  Leland asked.

“That’s where the bodies were,” Merlin answered.

Leland rolled his eyes.

Merlin said, “No?”

Leland shook his head again, and indicated Merlin should keep driving.

“Okay.  Where are we headed then?”  Merlin asked after they had pulled out of town .  It was midday and the sun was high overhead.  Merlin turned on the air conditioner.

Leland never replied, his thoughts being on just what it is he might be missing.  Harriet had said, “Who are you working for, Leland?”  Which was a puzzle Leland had no answer for.  Why would Harriet think he was working for someone?  Or that he was other than he appeared to be?  He’d known Harriet since she was the lonely little fat girl, sitting in the room’s corner all through elementary school drawing pink and blue tractors, which plowed orange and purple rows.  He was guessing she owned maybe 3 dresses in all.

All Leland really knew about her in the thirty or more years that passed were that she was a lot shrewder than she looked, and that she never took bullshit from anyone.  Plus, she was a damned good shot with a rifle.  It wasn’t like Harriet to be believing random aspersions.  If Harriet hadn’t been ‘down to earth’, then no one was.  So…

Merlin pulled the car over with a quick swerve and stopped.

‘…why would Harriet say such a thing?’ Leland wondered again, grabbing the door jamb.

“Okay Leland.  I’m tired of this.”  Merlin fixed him with a look.

Leland was shaken out of his reverie.  He paused to think, as the clouds of dust dissipated around them.

“Are we breaking up?”  He smiled.

“And by the way, shut the fuck up,” Merlin said.

Leland nodded.

“I’m going to say some things, and I want you to listen.”

Leland raised his brows.

But it seemed Merlin was having a problem putting what he wanted to say into words.  Finally he spoke:  “Okay.  Here it is.  I didn’t kill your dog.  I ‘put him down’.  There’s a difference.”


Merlin raised his hands quickly.  “Let me finish.”

“I know how attached you were to Trevor.  It showed all over you.  Everyone knew it.  But he was riddled with cancer and in extreme pain and there was no denying it.  And euthanasia was the best thing we could do – YOU could do – given the circumstances.  And I don’t blame you for it.”  Merlin paused.  “So don’t blame me.”

Leland was astonished.  “I never blamed you for killing my … dog.”

“Oh yes you do!  You don’t know you do.  But you do, nevertheless.”

Leland didn’t know how a man could respond to this.

“Don’t think I haven’t seen it before.  It’s one of the commonest ways a Veterinarian loses his clients that there is around.  An animal lover loves his animal.  But the animal is suffering.  So the animal lover comes to the Vet and he asks, “What can we do?”

Leland thought about Trevor, which was interesting, as he hadn’t thought about Trevor in some time.  God he missed him.  Especially, what with all of the craziness of late.”

“Well,” Merlin turned towards Leland.  “The answer is, there isn’t much we can do.  We’re not God.  We don’t have those powers.  So we give them the choices.  I gave you the choice.”

“He was a great dog,” Leland interrupted.  “Just the very antithesis of all the craziness that has been going on around here of late.”

“And then we may even tell them what we would recommend.  But the owner makes the final choice.  And then, we put them down.”

“That’s what he was, Merlin.  That’s what Trevor was.  He was sane!”  Leland realized.


“I can feel it so clearly now, after what’s just gone on around here.  What with all the awful, vulgar killings, and the shootings of the Weeds.  Trevor was absolutely sane.  And you just can’t say that much I’d guess for the rest of us.”  And inexplicably Leland could feel himself begin to bawl… great racking sobs.  “He was so sane.  So very sane.  He was just a great, sane dog!”

“Maybe I’m just crying for the loss of my sanity,” Leland said later, with a strangled laugh.

Twenty minutes later, Leland indicated to Merlin that he was ready to roll.  And Merlin started the vehicle and pulled out, heading north.

In another half hour things seemed in the vehicle as if they were back to normal.  Maybe even better than normal, Merlin thought, glancing over at Leland and then looking ahead.

“You know,” Leland said.  “It’s strange.  For the past few months I’ve felt as if I’d somehow gotten a chicken bone lodged in my throat.  But I couldn’t figure out where, or when.  And now, it’s gone.”  He swallowed a couple times.  “Yeah, it’s gone.”

“So you feel better?”

“Yeah.  I do.”

“Good.”  Merlin smiled.

Merlin nodded at a road sign and Leland nodded back.  They were almost there.  The Weed’s turn off was just up ahead on the left.

Photo from Google Images


March 9, 2012


BERT and CLAUDE have planned an 85th birthday party for their man-crazy mother, BERNICE.  But BERNICE supplies the surprise by bringing HERB BOTTLEMAN, an elderly womanizer she picked up at the airport.  When HERB ends up preferring BERT’S trophy wife JACKIE to BERNICE, the raging BERNICE suffers a heart attack and dies.

In the second act, JACKIE’S insistence that BERNICE be buried in her cream outfit, forces BERNICE to come down from heaven to make sure she is buried in her “red dress with happy hooker heels”.  HERB, all the while, continues to pursue JACKIE.  And BERT gets so angry he decides to bury BERNICE in her underwear.  It takes all CLAUDE’S gumption and his psychiatrist’s (DR. PERHL) wisdom to get this family back together again – and BERNICE packed off to heaven where she belongs.  

To read the first 10 pages of the play, click on INTO THE WILD BLUE YONDER, under “Pages” to the right…  – the Editor

A Man And His Cat

March 18, 2010
Photo by Carl Nelson / Poem by Carl Nelson / Voice by John Ruoff

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