Posts Tagged ‘military’


December 17, 2014

amish beards2

My Amish Beard

 When I reached sixty-five, and I began working out of my home office, I gradually stopped shaving.  Shaving is a bother.  It adds another task to the day.  And once you have failed to shave for a few days, (okay, a week or so), your beard becomes like a lawn which has outgrown the mower.  The shafts of the grass get long and tough.  And you need the weed whacker.  The razor no longer cuts it.  Snipers are a rough tool.  And electric devices either bog down in the thick hairs or begin tugging and yanking.

My beard trimmer bogged down.  So I tried the new razor I bought.  I began with the moustache, but quit after the work bogged down too.   All of which left me looking like a Mennonite.

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Now I’ve always felt this was such an odd way to wear a beard, that the people who did so must be quite odd themselves.  But, really, I feel about the same.  And though the wife calls me Enoch, from time to time, she likes it!  She never liked being poked by my moustache hairs.  She says she always enjoyed the shape of my mouth.

And these beards are handy in wintery Ohio as a pair of mittens, when on my walks.  So I did a little research.

Apparently, the first Amish were persecuted in old Germany by the military types whose fashion then was to wear elaborate mustaches.  So the Amish declared themselves by refusing to grow mustaches.   The carry-over of this habit continues to this day.  In addition, the beard is allowed to grow longer once a man marries.  Hmmmm…  I’m married.

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Photos from Google Images

From the Editor’s Perch…

May 27, 2014

Editor’s Note:  My Memorial Day Poem is a little late, but started on time.



The big grocers sell potatoes; but around here we grow spuds:

those hefty, solid, compact tubers,

the kind of vegetable that thrives outside small towns,

avoids schooling, and feels at ease in the dirt.

They marry early, often, and keep watch over whatever kids are around,

set a null course, and end up feeding the military.

Cause spuds don’t mess around.  They give their all.

Aside from navy beans, there is probably no vegetable more patriotic.

You eat a spud, and you’re eatin’ something which gave you your freedom.

You eat a spud and you’re tastin’ sacrifice and honor.

An’ if you’re afraid of a little dirt in your food…

Hell, you don’t know this land.


Photo from Google Images

From the Editor’s Perch

June 21, 2012

Editor’s Note:  You’ve noticed, if you follow the content of this blog, that we are concerned with the difficulty Artists have in supporting themselves financially.  So, from time to time, when we run across what seems like a good way to pick up some quick scratch – we try to mention it here on Schn00dles Blog.  

 Carnation Housewife Earns Money From Home Directing Drones for the Military



           When Margaret DeMarie fell asleep watching the late show two years ago, she awoke to see a job opportunity staring her in the face.

          “There it was,” she says, “just sitting there on the screen: an 800 number with the words, ‘earn money from home’.  It was eerie.  The station had already gone off.   It felt as if God had spoken.  So I called.”

          “To make a long story short, it involved watching TV for money!  And I could do it while ironing, cooking, or even knitting or watching my grandchildren.  They didn’t care.  Or maybe, they didn’t know.  But what mattered was whether I had an eye for anything ‘suspicious’.  When something caught my eye, (and we were trained a bit with a special video as to what to look for) I was to hone in on it by enlarging the screen, and if it panned out, to pin-point the coordinates and hit ‘send’ on the special flipper these two men – who installed a special black box on my TV – gave me.  A military contractor then analyzes it and forwards what they find – onto the military, if it was ‘so warranted’, for ‘engagement’.  We make more or less money, depending upon the strategic value of the intel we have forwarded. “

          “At first I wasn’t making more than a couple dollars a week.   But then, the second month in I happened onto what we call a ‘hot target’.  Just last month I bought a dishwasher with what I was paid!  It was installed during the day, so it was a week or so before my husband, Phil, even noticed.”

          “Isn’t this a new dishwasher?” Phil asked one evening.

          I nodded.

          “However did you get the money to buy that?”

          “Pin money, dear,” I told him.  “Pin money.”


 Photo is of a professional model, taken by Carl Nelson

Travelling Expenses

December 22, 2011

Editor’s Note:  Artistic types, I’ve found, tend to become both more enraptured and/or disgruntled with the world than most.  And, they watch TV too.

“Never trust a General wearing lots of fake medals and a silly hat.”


"Everybody Knows That."


I am an outside observer of political news. I listen to NPR; watch Lehrer and occasionally King 5 if I have a hankering for local news over dinner. I guess it is easy to have an opinion on the latest viral video, but I am not sure if I have an opinion or a new mindset over the Egyptian Army’s hatred of women.  What I saw running on a news station last night so angered me that I just had to rush into generalizations.

If these rioting rabid men in uniform are the people supposedly responsible for protecting the fragile new society of Egypt then I think this Era may be called the Arab Winter.  The savagery shown against defenseless citizens and particularly the women involved made me want to implement my Middle East tactical nuclear arms strategy. Now where did I put those nukes?

To think that this is the ancient civilization that built pyramids, created magnificent art and architecture, a civilization steeped in myth and history.  I don’t live there so I guess my opinion is not valid, except I have one now anywaNow we can see why the army was so supportive of the movement to free Egypt from its despotic leadership. The Army didn’t need to stage a coup; it just let the people do it for them, knowing there would be a vacuum it could fill with a new military dictatorship. 

There is something so terribly sick about the beating of defenseless women and the mentality displayed by the perpetrators, that it leads me to believe we were watching the underlying zeitgeist of the rulers of Egypt. Even worse is the thought that this could be a tenet of a patriarchal society that is Egypt today.  It says we hate women.

To me it seems that the people of Egypt will once again have to rise up against its unelected rulers. Hopefully those leaders responsible for promoting this war against the people will be brushed aside into the pages of ignominy where they belong. Hopefully they will build a fair, equal and just society, not a Western Style Democracy like ours which is based upon how much money and power you wield, but one that is in keeping with Egypt’s history. I pray for you Egypt, to the God of Peace, the God of Justice and the God of Equality.

P.S. Never trust General wearing lots of fake medals and a silly hat.  Everyone knows that.  – Paul

Photo by Carl Nelson

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