Posts Tagged ‘Real estate’

From the Editor’s Perch…

May 18, 2014

Carl1 (1) Carl1 (1)Web

Erasing Yourself

 

One of the hardest things when preparing your home for sale – beyond the enormous amount of work involved – is scrubbing the place of your personality.  We like to believe we’ve added something.  It’s a very special place and first, of course, we found it.   Homeowners, before they are anything else, are like happy, ruddy-faced beachcombers returning with a ‘found object’.  Perhaps it’s a conglomerate with a bit of barnacle, aggregated gravel, some seaweed and a seagull feather stuck hard to it – all with a greenish, slippery touch that doesn’t immediately suggest itself as a paperweight.  But this is what the realtor is for – for making this connection; for painting this realization!  Because then, after finding our home, we realized its potential.  Initially, it wasn’t that paperweight you see resting on my desk today.  Oh no, no, no, no…  A lot of effort, dare I say talent for this sort of thing, and money went into creating what you just saw.  Our place, though small, is a jewel, with tremendous sparkle in a one of a kind location which should provoke a quick sale at a high price.   All we really hope is that we can find the person for it that will appreciate it properly.  And all the realtor really has to do is to show it!  We smile and nod emphatically.

 

The realtor often doesn’t quite see it as we do.  Their excitement level may not be ours.  They might make a few suggestions, besides asking open-ended questions such as, “What kind of person do you see as buying a place like this?”  ‘Well,’ we supposed, ‘individuals much like us!’   (We smile and nod emphatically again.)

Or, they might not be suggestions.  “Those cat silhouettes (hanging on the window and inner door frames) should go.   Lots of people don’t like cats.”   “That moss on the patio stones should be pressure washed away.” – “But moss is beautiful.  It’s a romantic detail that defines a patio bower and fits it within the community of the other vegetation.”  The realtor shakes their head.  “It’s moss.”   – “But I like moss.”  Deadly pause.   We walk back into the home.  “The chandelier needs to go.  And everything in the kitchen should be packed away, except maybe for two canisters and a bottle of wine.”  “No personal pictures.”  “Think empty.  Space is better.”   “And, of course, it all needs re-painting.  But I wouldn’t bother about that.  The buyer can handle that after the sale.”  “And are we far enough out that they could cut down that cedar, or what are the rules here on that? ”  He asks, staring out the picture window.    –  “Don’t cut that  cedar.”  “It’s in the view.”  – “But the view is more than some stiff scene way in the distance which could be replaced by a painting.  It’s also trees and vegetation, and things closer by, that move!”  –  “The buyer is not going to care about that.”  – “Well, you might tell him that it can get real hot here in the summer on this hillside and if he cuts down that cedar he can figure on paying about $150/month more for watering.”  –  “I’m not going to tell him that.”

 

“You don’t like moss.  You don’t like trees.  You don’t like cats.  I can’t see us bonding,”  I tell the realtor halfway through our stroll.  He doesn’t respond; just looks at me.

“But,” I continue, “I don’t suppose that doesn’t mean we can’t work together.”

“It’s not what I like, or don’t like,” the realtor explains.  “As a professional, it’s my job to tell you the things which will help you to realize a quick and profitable sale.  And what I have been mentioning are those things.”

I nod my head.  “I guess my personality isn’t  worth much.”

No one says anything, and we continue on.

In the days that pass, what I can’t stuff into a carton for transfer to our new home, I farm out like a foster child, or trash.  For quite some time it will feel like we’re living in a motel.  My office has even developed an echo.  And I’m about ready to leave.

Photo by Carl Nelson

Work, work, work… with Rita Andreeva

October 31, 2013

Editor’s Note:  So much for the fun part.  Now we’re back to the “grit and slog” of it, from Rita.

Not all Buddhists/Bohemians are fat.  Here is a carving of the Emaciated Buddha of the 2nd-3rd Century.

Not all Buddhists/Bohemians are fat. Here is a carving of the Emaciated Buddha of the 2nd-3rd Century.

 

Reality Check

“Oh, here is a real Work Work update:

Since no work was to be had anywhere except, possibly, in India, and I wasn’t about to move that far (well, I think, Auburn is almost as bad), I decided to obtain some sort of a license allowing me to sell something people still seemed to buy. I did an online course, passed the state exam, and got a real estate broker’s license. I proceeded to make a blog, a page on Facebook, and to post a variety of ads on Craigslist, telling people how to buy real estate in intelligent ways using my services. I was amazed that absolutely nothing happened. Silence, indifference, deep, dark matter of very heavy nothing. Trust me, dark matter is real – it weighs down the souls of millions – it is also known as the lack of money, and it is extremely heavy, it literally crushes you…

Well, so, as nothing happened, I have tried to enroll into one of those advertised free courses to learn to be a tax preparer. I called and emailed and got no reply. Probably for the best, since rich people do not get all excited at encountering a man on the street with no teeth wearing a velvet Statue of Liberty and say, “You are just who I need! Let’s go inside and have you figure out some loopholes for my billion dollar estate.” Nope, doesn’t work that way. And poor people don’t need tax preparers because they don’t make enough money to pay tax.

I tried selling used rugs (not rags, like toupees – big area rugs). It started by me going to a everything-half-off sale at St. Vincent De Paul’s and buying a pretty nice oriental-ish rug half price for only $30. I thought I discovered a sure way to riches – going to all the half-off sales at all the thrift stores and buying rugs for half-off and then selling them for twice what I paid, since it is still much cheaper than very nasty new rugs in Walmart that have such loose weave, you stab your toes on something hard and bumpy as they sink between the rug hairs. I was amazed and flabbergasted that no one actually bought any of my nice rugs yet, but they do make a very soft surface to walk on in my bedroom.

I tried putting all my paintings on Craigslist again without any result. I almost physically attacked a woman carrying a painting made in China to a cash register at Fred Meyer – I would have sold her mine for the same price!

I did purchase some very cheap old and broken antique furniture and restored a couple of pieces, but now they are so pretty, I want to keep them.

Still trying to figure out what costs less to operate: an area heater or my cat.”  – Rita Andreeva

Photo from Google Images


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