Posts Tagged ‘subletting’

Work, work, work… with Rita Andreeva

March 23, 2011

Editor’s Note:  More background and foreground sketched in – in this latest episode of the ‘Near-room’.

Egg Situation Escalates!

Contested Food Supplies

The egg situation is escalating. When I came home this afternoon and opened the fridge I saw two jumbo brown eggs missing. When I chanced to glance in the trash I saw a white eggshell there as well, I went back to the fridge and pulled out the white egg tray – one egg was taken from the back. Again, he only put one tick mark on the food spreadsheet. I added the two appropriate ticks and wrote down below: 1 egg = .50 cents
Why are people so petty is what I’d like to know? It’s not just the money, but the fact that going shopping for me without a car and lugging heavy bags is a big pain in the ass. I hinted to him once that if he’d like to go shopping with me once, or just get his own food, that would be nice, because he has a car. But he is such a lazy ass – he never feels like it. When he isn’t working all he does is lie around. Still a huge improvement from the previous near-room-mate: that one didn’t have a job and all he did was lay around.

Getting a reasonable roommate is a very complicated affair. Most normal people (by normal I mean people without significant baggage) don’t rent rooms, because they’re able to plan ahead and take care of their stuff. There’s always something wrong with people who rent rooms. I interviewed 3 people this time before choosing D. The first one needed a room because he was fresh out of prison and was living in a half-way house. He also was under an opinion the room came with a free booty call. He couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t be thrilled.
The second one was a woman. I never actually met her face to face, because she had an enormous knack of complicating simplest things, so they never got done. Frankly, I was suspicious from the beginning, because she wrote an extremely long introduction letter, explaining how hateful her best friend turned out, now that she’d been staying at her place, because she wouldn’t give her a key. I thought, well, well, if her best friend thinks she can’t be trusted with a key, I should probably pass. So I didn’t respond to her email. But she wrote again, saying,  “I really need a room, I’d hardly be there, since I’m very busy, and I had a criminal background check done which you can see.” So I emailed her back saying to stop by. On the appointed hour she called me and said she was lost. She was somewhere by Yesler and 17th, so I said, just go North from there. About 20 min later she calls again, telling me, she is still lost. I asked her where she was, and she said, over on Capitol Hill, somewhere. I told her she was too far North and needed to come South. She calls back in another half-an-hour.
“Where are you?” I asked, quite annoyed with her by now.
“Broadway and Boren.”
“Go East up to 17th Ave.”
“But that’s almost 10 blocks! I was up there before!”
“You didn’t tell me right! I was there before.”
“I am beat for today, can we make it another time?”
I nearly screamed from joy, “Yes! Please! Let’s!” and quickly hung up before she changed her mind.
A third potential roommate sounded very nice. He said he just got a new job in Seattle and needed a room, and that he had a very sweet, well behaved, small-ish dog. Okay, I made an appointment for him to stop by.
His dog was like a lab-rottweiler mix, about the size of a calf.
As the man came in and looked at the room he said, “I’m actually thinking of moving here…” I was already thinking then, “No fucking way!” But out of politeness I offered him to sit down and chat a bit, so I could turn him down nicely. I didn’t have time to think of a way. That mutt of his proceeded to chase my cat Iris all around the living room, the chairs and hair were flying, growling and hissing filled the air. Iris leaped over the desk and unto the windowsill, from where she stared back terrified and insulted. The dog kept growling at her.  I got up, shaking from anger, shoved the dog away from the desk and yelled at the man, “Out! Right now!” He left mumbling, “Sorry,” in a voice completely devoid of remorse. I fucking told him I had a cat! I said to the man’s back, “You really should be more forthcoming with the information upfront…”
So when D. the current near-roommate came by, I couldn’t find any reasons not to rent to him. He showed me his drivers license, he had a full-time job, and he needed a room so he didn’t have to fight traffic coming from Tacoma waterfront where he lived on his boat. And he is clean, quiet and considerate. So aside from stealing eggs he is fine. Hopefully he won’t feel insulted by my insistence that he pays a fair price for the eggs or quit his job and sail to Mexico (which, by the way, I would have done a long time ago, if I had a boat).”  – Rita

Photo by Carl Nelson

Work, work, work… with Rita Andreeva

March 22, 2011

The Eternal Battle

They All Look Good at the Beginning


“My nearroom-mate is beginning to worry me: he whined about getting burnt-out at his job, I think he’s also beginning to hate me.
Maybe I’m wrong, maybe I’m paranoid… but…
He also ate 3 jumbo size brown eggs and only put one line in the food-tracking spreadsheet. That’s just wrong!”  – Rita

Photo (taken wildly out of context again) by Carl Nelson

Work, work, work… with Rita Andreeva

March 5, 2011

Editor’s Note:  We caught Rita on the upswing this time around.  Check out her all-new, money-making website.

Latest Adventure…


Happy Rita


“Hey did you put the link to that website I’m making for everyone to make money:    ?

I think I finally got a perfect roommate for my nearroom. He only needs it Monday through Thursday. He works 4 days 12-hour shifts. He comes in at 6:30am when I’m still asleep and goes to bed right away. He gets up sometimes in the afternoon and goes to work at 5:30pm, and if I go out for a coffee or to the library and hang out for a couple of hours before 5:30 I don’t have to run into him at all! Isn’t that awesome! Because that way he won’t go on my nerves too much. Since my nerves are quite frayed. One time he woke up early, like at about noon, and commenced watching a movie. I was out at Harbor View interpreting and came in just for 15 minutes to take a quick shower, because I overslept that morning and didn’t wash my hair. The roommate was up, watching a movie, and I felt very annoyed, just hearing the tv. Luckily I didn’t have to stay, I took my shower and left.
      His name is Dane, it suits him. He is tall and muscular, and has a sweet dog smile, so he looks like a Great Dane. And he has a good job that benefits the world: he works at a bio-diesel plant where they gather used oil from local restaurants and make diesel out of it.
     I made a spreadsheet on Excel with the foods he can eat listed in the left column. The heading at the top says: “Rita’s Kitchen. A serving of anything is just a $1. Instructions: draw a line for a serving of food you take, when you have four lines, draw one across.”
Don’t know if it works yet – there’s nothing on it so far. But I told him I make soup and keep it on the stove every day.
     He only has one bad habit I need to break him out of: he throws a perfectly good towel in the laundry basket after just one shower! What does he think it is – a fucking 5-star hotel!

     I need some inspiration for a book I’m writing. I’m going to attach the first couple of pages so people can read the beginning and give me feedback. Or not.  (Editor:  Watch for it in an upcoming post!)

     I have a depressing bit of news as well: some assholes broke Eva’s car window in her High School parking lot and stole her macbook, her digital camera, her textbooks, and her fluffy slippers!
     The world is so full of evil people!
     I was full of hatred for humans as I browsed through the photographs of abused animals on some vegan advocates’ website to help me calm down and get everything in perspective. The horrors of the suffering of cows and chickens made me feel slightly less sorry for ourselves and, as a side benefit, slightly less hungry. Unfortunately, the compassion generated by the photos wasn’t enough to stop me from devouring a bowl of frozen yogurt. I was able to reason my worries away by saying to myself: not all the dairy farms are that bad; this yogurt box has a picture of a happy smiling cow on it, so this particular company is probably nice to their animals. I wondered if it were made into a law – a full disclosure of how animals are treated on all the meat and dairy packages – would that stop people from buying the products from the companies that treat animals badly, or would it raise their sales, since most people are basically assholes and seem to enjoy others’ suffering?


“P. S. Here is a commercial I made inspired by the vegan website: ”  (15 seconds)

Photo by Carl Nelson

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